From Survival Guide for People living
with Asperger's Syndrome
by Marc Segar
One thing autistic people are often particularly
good at is worrying.
A lot of your efforts in life might be getting
a very poor pay-off and you might be finding that everyone around
you is speaking freely to each other in a way which seems like nonsense
If you try to join in by talking back in nonsense,
people get annoyed.
If other people can complain about you speaking
nonsense, why can't you complain to them about their nonsense? It's
just not fair. Are you annoyed ? If you are, you have every right
to be. But you cannot change the way things are. This book might,
however, help you to understand other people's nonsense better.
The problem with worrying is that it will often
distract you from what you need to be concentrating on if you are
to solve the problem.
With some problems, seeing the funny side can
make it easier. If you can learn to laugh at yourself, many of your
worries might go away.
Many people keep all their problems bottled up
inside and look as if they're on top of the world, but many people
need to talk about their problems. The trick is to talk to the right
people and not the wrong ones.
Don't talk about your problems in public or to
people who you don't know (except counselors). If you do, you will
be broadcasting your weaknesses to the people around you. Don't
think they won't be listening.
Talking about your problems in public may get
sympathy in the short term but will probably isolate you in the
You may talk about your problems with teachers,
parents, close relatives and sometimes with friends if you can get
them on their own.
* Sometimes, but not always, it is all right to talk about your
problems with friends in a small group but it should be relevant
to the conversation.
When you do talk about your problems, try to do
it without putting yourself down too much. Negative talk causes
you negative feelings and negative feelings make you less able to
defend yourself. You don't want to get bogged down into a vicious
With reference to this last statement, try to
get into a positive cycle if you can. This is called PMA (positive
mental attitude) whereby thinking about your positive assets makes
you feel more positive about yourself and better able to defend
yourself from put-downs.
Sometimes, you may get labeled by people as useless
or ignorant. This might be because you are not getting the opportunity
to show any intelligence, NOT because it is true.
A horrible feeling to have to deal with is guilt.
If you think you are to blame for something, you must ask yourself
if you knew that you were doing something wrong. If you didn't know,
or you only had a vague feeling about it, then you cannot blame
yourself, even if other people are. All you can do is to tell yourself
that you'll try not to do it again.
Often apologizing to someone can help to ease
the guilt but ONCE is enough. If you over-apologize you might start
to look shy or vulnerable.
If you think that the world is pitted against
you, this is an illusion. Also, everyone feels like this occasionally.
Remember to be patient about using this book.
Personal development can be a slow and difficult process.
Another problem you might face is that achieving
things by half does not feel like enough. You may be an all or nothing
person but remember, this might be the autism speaking.
Remember, the key word is DETERMINATION and if
you know in your heart you can do something, then you must go for
to proceed to the next chapter.
Click here to go to the
home page to view the full range of autism fact sheets at www.autism-help.org
This autism fact sheet is licensed under the GNU