DENIAL TO ACCEPTANCE
Everyone has their story, this is the beginning
of mine.
It is said that there are stages a person has
to go through to proceed from the point of denial to final acceptance.
This it is said relates to any change that life may present on our
journey, even those we don't want to have to walk. For me, the Lord
orders those steps and knows the bigger picture that I don't.
However knowing He is aware doesn't mean that
it hurts any less. Yes He may be in control (this is my belief)
however it is so easy to one day share with all those listening
that the key is to accept that which comes your way, no matter what
and that you are strong and still standing. Yet crumble in a heap
of frustration less than two days later.
Yes, you have accepted to spend time wishing what
could be and not choosing to accept and deal with what is a total
waste of energy and time, and doesn't help anyone. As you are reading,
please note these words I write are neither right nor wrong, they
are my feelings.
As I was saying, yes, you know all things work
together for good in the end, however, it can take years to accept
that the man you married is unable to see your point of view to
the point that communicating it to him verbally only frustrates
him further, it isn't that he doesn't love you and vice versa, it
is that you presenting your emotions to him confuses him.
It can take years before you say " No really,
Buzz Lightyear didn't do that, did he?" although you know he
did for Toy Story has been part of your family for the
last three years, non-stop for at least three times per day, and
that doesn't include watching the movie. You ceased that long time
ago.
And then to look into the eyes of your other child
who wants to know what to do because his brother is sitting there
talking to himself again and not listening to how it affects him,
"mum, he isn't listening to me again…" No, really…….
Welcome to my world
How do you survive, and not only survive but attempt
to flourish with all your loved ones flourishing with you? You accept
that it is no longer about you. Support groups, online support etc
that may be about you - however in your home, it isn't.
You are the guide. Your citizens react better
to pictures than verbal words. So you learn to draw, you take photos
and you pray that you can learn to penetrate their world. As the
old adage says, Seek to understand rather than seek to be understood.
I, like many others, have been reading through
and have just started my journey on the autism
path, and yet in that time I have learnt how to accept everyone
for who they are. It strikes me as ironic that an autistic trait
is that they are unable to recognize another person's feeling and
yet I am challenged to recognize what they must feel when asked
to be someone they are not, simply so I can be more comfortable
with it in my world.
Who is empathizing with who?
I have chosen to teach my children "different
people do different things, that is why they are named xxxxx and
you are not. That is what makes them their personality and who they
are". Yet I find myself sometimes wishing that I didn't have
to explain things in so much detail every single time. (there goes
that waste of energy again….)
Yes, through my husband and son I am learning
to accept everyone opinion (which I didn't always do) and also respect
everyone for where they are at. I am also aware that not having
my feelings acknowledged emotionally is extremely hard, yet in an
ironic way this is preparing me and giving me the strength to be
the person I need to be as this is my family and my life.
This is what I feel today. In my world, you also
learn to take each day as it comes, for one can only go as far as
they can see… and if that is just till the end of the day, then
so be it.
- Faith
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at www.autism-help.org
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